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  • Lost confidence after 15 lessons

    Hi. Has anyone else experienced this? I was told by my instructor that I am learning really quickly and should easily be able to pass my test in just a few more weeks. However, the last two lessons have been a real struggle, like I've forgotten everything. My brain feels like it cannot absorb one more piece of information and I feel defeated at the end of the lesson. Yesterday's lesson was possibly the worst I've been. To make matters worse, my instructor has an unhelpful habit of throwing in what to me sounds like an instruction while I'm in the middle of a manoeuvre, when it isn't, if you know what I mean. Using words like "right" in a sentence, or heaven forbid "break", which I immediately seize upon and think I must brake. I have mentioned this to him and told him that this confuses me and perhaps to rephrase what he's saying, but he has said that I must learn to think for myself. I get that, but I'm a very literal person in real life and this is really upsetting me. Yesterday I was so upset I pulled over at the nearest safe place to compose myself, as I couldn't think straight. I liked my instructor until now, and now I'm beginning to wonder if he is contributing to the problem by careless use of language. Would love to hear your thoughts please.

  • #2
    Regular contributors to this forum tend to have passed their tests many years ago; some after several attempts, but your problem seems to be psychological rather than technical.

    I think that you have already thought about changing instructors and that would be my first advice. It may mean taking a couple of steps back, but once you lose faith, it is best to switch I think. My only other suggestion is that you try to get more practice outside of your lessons. Anyone with a licence more than three years can sit beside you and just driving around your home town will give you valuable experience.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Santa View Post
      Regular contributors to this forum tend to have passed their tests many years ago; some after several attempts, but your problem seems to be psychological rather than technical.

      I think that you have already thought about changing instructors and that would be my first advice. It may mean taking a couple of steps back, but once you lose faith, it is best to switch I think. My only other suggestion is that you try to get more practice outside of your lessons. Anyone with a licence more than three years can sit beside you and just driving around your home town will give you valuable experience.
      That's good advice. Thank you.

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      • #4
        It sounds like you are trying too hard, and allowing things to get on top of you? ....... ............. Try to relax more, you've come too far to give up now. .......... ............ ......Don't let your instructor put you off, it what he is saying has nothing to do with what you are doing at that time, just concentrate on what you are doing........... ........Good luck with it.

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        • #5
          I liked my instructor until now, and now I'm beginning to wonder if he is contributing to the problem

          Try a different instructor

          How old are you ??

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          • #6
            Originally posted by smudger View Post
            It sounds like you are trying too hard, and allowing things to get on top of you? ....... ............. Try to relax more, you've come too far to give up now. .......... ............ ......Don't let your instructor put you off, it what he is saying has nothing to do with what you are doing at that time, just concentrate on what you are doing........... ........Good luck with it.
            Thanks Smudger. I certainly won't give up, but I do think it's probably time to finish my lessons with a different instructor. Until yesterday's unhappy lesson I had blamed myself for being oversensitive, but now I have had time to remember previous lessons, there seems to be a pattern with my present instructor. He'll give an ambiguous instruction which I misinterpret. I'm not a mind reader! Then there will be an awkward atmosphere between us, as if he's trying not to lose his temper. That makes me edgy and stressed. At the end of the lesson I'll be given the "overall that was good" spiel, in which case I wonder why earlier in the lesson he acted like he thinks I'm thick. If this was a personal relationship, it would be considered abusive at times.

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            • #7
              @Mobile Tech. I am going to try another instructor. Thank you.
              Last edited by MSM79; 25-08-16, 22:20. Reason: Replied to wrong person

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              • #8
                Let us know how you get on

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                • #9
                  I've had about same amount of lessons. It can be dishaertning when you have a bad lesson I tend to have them when I've been working. And think its cos I'm tired and not well prepared for my lesson. Go through in you're mind before you're lesson things you struggle on. And as above maybe change instructor s. Dont give up just cause of a few bad lessons.
                  Just try and prepare for you're lesson as well as dobwhat realexes you too good luck

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                  • #10
                    Thanks Bruma. I know my instructor works very long hours, which must be exhausting, but he vents his frustration with me, which is unfair and not helpful. He never did this for the first few lessons, when I really was pants and he needed to dual control occasionally, but I think he's got a little too comfortable now. I can also see there's a bit of projection going on too, in that he'll raise his voice and get angry with me, but when I tell him I find his instructions confusing and inconsistent, he tells me I must learn to calm down. Because telling someone who's stressed and upset to calm down always works, doesn't it! There have been personal remarks too, which are inappropriate. For all of those reasons I have decided to find another instructor. I sent him a friendly message online but not had a response yet. Good luck with your lessons.

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                    • #11
                      Sounds like you done a good choice in binding him. Take a few days to study potential instructors for you. I changed mine not long ago was reluctant as he was good. But not flexible for weekends when I'm of but new one is good up now

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                      • #12
                        Quote............"in that he'll raise his voice and get angry with me,".......... ................ .........Sounds like he is the one who needs to calm down?........... ............I'm not a driving instructor, but I used to be a welding instructor, and in all them years, I never lost my temper with any of my trainees. ...... ............. .........To do that is a sign of weakness and frustration, ............. ............You can only "show" a trainee how to do something so many times, and if they still can't do it,.......... ........ ........you go somewhere quiet and explain it........... ...........It's all part of the learning cycle, good luck.

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                        • #13
                          Reminds me of my old driving instructor, who had anger-management issues. He would sometimes lean across me while I was driving, just to bang his hand on the wheel to hoot at someone who had angered him on the road. Once he ordered me to stop while he got out and chased someone who had not given way. I had about 3 lessons with him and then changed to a different instructor.

                          He never got angry at me, just at other road users. I asked a couple of friends who also learnt with him and he was the same - fine with the pupil but angry at other drivers!
                          Last edited by 98selitb; 30-08-16, 07:54.

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                          • #14
                            Aye! when I was learning for my advanced driving test, the instructor was a retired police instructor.......... ...........Every time he caught me with one hand on the wheel, and the other on the gear stick, he would smack my left leg with a metal ruler!!....... ........... ................. It sodding hurt as well.

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                            • #15
                              Hi,

                              I think you need to change your instructor and you are trying to best effort .. you have vailed problem many people face this problem . Try to relax more Just Concentrate on what are you doing keep it up

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