[Rosie_Q]

Hello

I've been learning to drive for around a year now and I've gone through 4 driving instructors to date (not to mention previous lessons/instructors on previous attempts).

I just can't seem to "get it" I feel that I'm the nearest I've ever been and my 2nd instructor said I should book my test, then went AWOL and so I've moved it back several times now. Today things seemed to go reasonably well apart from:

- missing two different red lights as my mind was elsewhere (not sure where exactly)
- being in the wrong lane after being on a big wide open road, he said we were going right, by the time I had looked in my mirrors it was too late and I was in the wrong lane
- I felt overwhelmed with a huge roundabout system causing me to be in the wrong lane (again) and then he had to instruct me to do each task
- and then I stopped unnecessarily on the approach to another roundabout (on the same system)

This is a fairly new instructor with one of the big companies. Today he had a massive rant as I have my test book, he stops every so often and asks what I think, I usually say "MMM this or that went well...." On his part it seems to quite often be a list of "issues" he has with what I am doing, today it was a rant "You're not even doing this ...." "I gave you the benefit of the doubt for your first lesson, things didn't improve much for your second lesson (although he said there was obvious improvement at the time), you're just not ready for your test." He seems determined to keep flogging this dead horse that the test I have booked is not do-able for me to realistically be able to pass (which he can't even do anyway due to having another booking).

I've made the point that my last instructor criticised EVERYTHING I did, NOTHING I did was right even when it was (always just a little too wide / too near the curb / could have considered this or that) and how difficult I found this as he slowly eroded everything I was doing well at until there was nothing left.

I'm sick of making the same mistakes over and over again. I know I don't learn the same way everyone else does but I can't seem to develop an effective way to learn. I've put up with a great deal in terms of instructors - terrible bully, dysfunctional, lateness, short notice cancellations are all issues I have had in this past 12 months. I don't know what to do

[belucky22]

My first instructor kept saying things like, ' Jesus Christ don't you want to live long !!!!' My second instructor told me that he went back to lorry driving and should never have become an instructor. A few years ago I passed my Advanced Motorist test.
However, I was concerned in particular that you missed two red lights. That, obviously, is very serious.
I don't know you and am commenting without personal knowledge of you or your driving. Another concern is that you have blamed your instructors. Yes, you acknowledge your errors but, in a year, I would not expect all of the mistakes. A driving lesson is a relatively short period of time when concentration must be 100%. What other steps have you taken to improve ? e.g driving dvds there are some good ones, e.g Chris Gilbert.
I understand that with your experience of lessons so far you will not be in the right frame of mind to be at your best.
I think you might benefit from an independent assessment of where you are. Do you know anyone you could trust to accompany you ? Perhaps a professional driver.
I am trying to be helpful and hope it sounds like it !

[Santa]

The trouble is that driving looks easy. Those of us who have been doing it for years do most things without even thinking about them. We don't have to go through a process of making a series of decisions about which lane, what speed, what gear, mirror, signal, brake..... We mostly do all those things automatically without consciously making a decision - only if we see something that warrants it, do we take action.

I have two suggestions - one, that you give up. I know you want to be able to drive, but surely there are many people who just aren't temperamentally suited to it. I am sure that you will have other talents, and you could concentrate on those, rather than beating yourself up about this. Another alternative might be to look for a driving school that has a more sympathetic approach to anyone who is having a hard time as you are. A quick Google found these people, but there will surely be others. http://www.e-lanes.co.uk/80215/info.php?p=2

[Santa]

Psychologically it is an 'automatic action'. (Sorry - this stuff interests me)


"Conscious Automaticity http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~wegner/p...ley&Wegner.pdf

Many of the automatic behaviors we do every day are
things of which we are perfectly aware at the outset.
We know we are getting in the car and heading off to
work, for instance, or we know we are beginning to
take a shower. Yet because we have done the act so
often driving to work every day, showering every
darn year, whether we need it or not we no longer
need to think about the act after we have consciously
launched it. These behaviors are often acquired skills,
actions that become automatic only after significant
repetition.

When we begin to learn an action, such as driving,
we think of the action at a very detailed level (Vallacher
and Wegner 1987). We think `engage clutch, move
gear shift down into second, lift left foot off the clutch
and right foot onto gas.' Skill acquisition starts off as
labored, conscious learning and after consistent, frequent
practice becomes more automatic and unconscious.

Once the action is well learned, the behavior
becomes automatic in the sense that it does not require
constant conscious monitoring. This automaticity
allows us no longer to think about the details, and
instead to think about the act at a higher level (`I am
driving to work. Gosh.'). It is as though practice leads
to a mental repackaging of our behavior, a chunking
together of formerly stray details into a fluid sequence
that can then be set off with only a brief conscious
thought rather than a continuing commentary of them.

Once the conscious decision is made to drive to work,
the drive itself can be quite unconscious and automatic
thus we chat on the cell phone along the
way and we may remember very little of the experience
once we arrive at our destination.

[Rosie_Q]

Originally Posted by Santa

Psychologically it is an 'automatic action'. (Sorry - this stuff interests me)


"Conscious Automaticity http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~wegner/p...ley&Wegner.pdf

Giving up isn't really an option. I'm 30 odd years old and am stuck in a job paying around half what someone with my skillset should be paid, purely because I can't get to the places I need too for work.

This makes sense but how do I get it? I've got literally 100s of hours of practice in a car (loads of bad habits to show the range of instructors I have had) but how do I get it for me?

Should I change instructor? Is this another one who simply won't work for me? What alternative tactics are available? Has anyone else worked with someone with a similar set of issues?

Thanks

Rosie

[smudger]

Welcome to the site Rosie-Q,after reading your post, I think that all you lack, is confidence, as you have been let down and criticised by your instructors.Just take it one step at a time, don't panic if you get things wrong at times, that's what driving lessons are for. If you do opt to go to another instructor, talk with them first, and explain your fears and anxieties, before you even start to drive, good luck.

[Beelzebub]

Hi

I'd suggest you post your question on this board http://www.2passforum.co.uk/, which is more specialised. There are contributors there with experience of teaching people with all manner of difficulties.

[Rosie_Q]

Thank you for all the help. You're right in saying that I lack confidence. Tonight, I bought Paul McKenna CD / book set from Amazon and am going to give it time to see what happens, it might even extend to other areas of my life. I don't know what to do with regards the instructor but we'll have to wait and see.
Rosie

[belucky22]

I have had a long standing professional interest in confidence building. The best book I have ever read is The Confidence Gap by Dr.Russ Harris ( cheap and on Amazon ). Also with regards to learning Mindset by Carol Dweck should be a must read for everyone.

[JoeSinc]

Originally Posted by Rosie_Q

Today things seemed to go reasonably well apart from:

- missing two different red lights as my mind was elsewhere (not sure where exactly)

Hi Rosie,

I have to get the above quote out of the way, things did not go reasonably well if you missed two red lights. I'm sure you appreciate just how bad that could of been. I agree with other posters that you seem to lack a lot of confidence. I particularly agree with belucky22, do you have a friend, partner or family member who can go in the car with you? I get the feeling that this lack of confidence could make you very on edge when in the car with an instructor just like I was when I first started learning to drive. I bet that being in the car without an instructor will help you relax and start to work on your instinctual reactions.

With that being said I doubt all of these problems are the fault of your numerous driving instructors. Perseverance is the key, good luck!

[DragonflyDreams]

I was exactly like you up until recently, but take my advice, you NEED an examiner who criticizes you for every tiny thing, you can't have one that takes it easy on you, because when you come to test, you are in for a huge shock. I've taken my test twice, once I failed because my front wheel went a tiny bit over the white line of the lane when I was turning on a busy roundabout, and another failed me for 'not looking left at a junction' when I did look left, and my instructor was in the back of the car and he confirmed that I looked left, but the examiner turned his head away from me for a really long time, so I should apparently have 'noted that he wasn't looking' and looked left again. Your instructor might be being hard on you, but if you have been learning for a year, he is only doing it to HELP you.

At the very start they should go easy on you, but then toughen up as the months go by. Trust me, it is honestly the best way you will learn, the examiners are VERY harsh and if you are in the wrong lane, even if there's tons of traffic and it's very hard to get over, they WILL fail you.

On a more positive note, I have some ways for you to improve your attention span. 1, juggling. No, I'm not kidding, learn to juggle and do it regularly, it improves your hand-eye co-ordination, and therefore will improve your attention span.

2) Exercise outdoors before your lessons. I always take my dog out to the local park before my lessons, run around and play football with him. Exercise makes you feel great, and it wakes you up if your tests are early. Doing it outside helps the oxygen flow to your brain, which in turn helps you think.

3) Drink plenty of water. it keeps you alert. Open your window a little too, again to help the flow of oxygen.

4) Do things that make you feel good before your test. Listen to uplifting music, talk to people who have confidence in you, and don't ever compare yourself to anyone else. You can pass this test at any time, there is absolutely no rush.

Good luck!!