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Thread: Minor accident - preempting difficulties - advice appreciated

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santa View Post
    Personally I hope that Siani's trusting nature will not be destroyed by what is after all a minor event. To pursue what may well be a fragile old lady with relentless vigour, demanding the full pound of flesh without compromise, seems to me to be both inhumane and morally wrong.
    Who says she is a fragile old lady? Complaining of feeling unwell could (a) be a ploy to avoid her responsibilities, (b) is not a defence when a motoring error has been committed which results in damage to a third party, and (c) who is to say that she hit Siani's car because she is not fit to drive - perhaps even to the point that this occurrence is not unusual in her driving history.

    Negotiate and agree a solution - if the result is a total loss - chalk it up to one of life's experiences. Taking the aggressive option, even if it is successful, will provide no lasting satisfaction.
    Neither is the thought of being duped by a wily old bird who uses age/illness excuses to dodge paying her dues.

    I frequently, when it will cost me little or no delay, allow people out of side streets. My children used to complain that it was always me who reversed to a passing place on country lanes. If someone pounds up behind me with his lights flashing, my instinct is to let them pass at the earliest opportunity, even if I am driving at or above the speed limit. I sincerely believe that what goes round comes round - in the words of the bible - we sow what we reap. In my 70+ years, I have been ripped off a couple of times, been involved in a few collisions, one major, but on the whole I have been pretty fortunate and I think that my philosophy has stood the test of time.
    Siani, as explained, started with a very charitable approach, only to have it thrown back in her face. Piety has to be used with caution and, in any case, it is not for anyone on here to dictate Siani's moral code of practice in resolving the matter.

    Under the circumstances, I refute the accusation that Trainman or myself were suggesting aggressive behaviour; rather that we are encouraging Siani not to be ridden over roughshod by a woman who is patently selfish.

  2. #22
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    “I would take that as a deliberately obstructive attitude, and simply turn the screw.”

    “I do have the time to push the matter into the public domain and create as much embarrassment as possible. Bad news travels fast, and insurers do not like bad publicity - particularly if their accuser is correct on all counts and cannot be silenced.
    In the vernacular of Dad's Army: "They don't like it up 'em, Sir!"

    “Ok, Beelzebub, then we just have to stick with finding a way of causing as much public embarrassment as possible.”

    “Don't take the "I am not well" twaddle. If she is not available til Tues she is probably living it up on a Shearings self drive holiday”

    “the thought of being duped by a wily old bird who uses age/illness excuses to dodge paying her dues.”

    “encouraging Siani not to be ridden over roughshod by a woman who is patently selfish.”

    All of the above are cut and pasted from this single thread. We are talking here about the aftermath of a minor incident here; no one was hurt, and the financial consequences are, in comparison with the total cost of running a car, relatively small.
    There are people on this thread who generally have the last word. While the last thing I would wish for is that we should all have the same opinions, I do believe that jaw jaw is invariably better than war war.

  3. #23
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    I have just logged on. Snowball, you and I appear to have a different understanding of the word 'aggressive'. In my reading of Santa's post he put out possibilities and did not say that it was definitely how it was. Just that it might be....... Unless in the actual situation it is impossible to make a fully informed judgement. I do not believe that I have tried to dictate anyone's, 'moral code of practice'. In fact I suggest the opposite is true; by suggesting a possible alternative perspective there is more choice of action..

  4. #24
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    Sorry, Santa, but you are avoiding the issue. This is not about how you would deal with the matter, or how you might think Siani should deal with it.
    The woman hit a stationary, parked vehicle and did £180 worth of damage to it. The vehicle owner (Siani) was not even in the vehicle, so the woman is 100% at fault. When one commits a driving error, by the very fact they are behind the wheel they automatically place themselves fully responsible for any damage/injuries that may result from their driving. That is the law, and the rule remains paramount throughout one's driving career - age, frailty or illness do not transfer responsibility to another driver who has not contributed to the 'offence'. "Jaw, jaw" is all very well, but what happens if the guilty party stands their ground - just roll over and let them walk away? Siani started by being prepared to offer an olive branch, and got it thrown back in her face. Come on, enough is enough - Siani owes the old girl NOTHING. Like yourself, I am 70+ (almost 79, actually), and my responsibilities for any incident of which I may be the cause leaves me just as liable now as when I commenced driving. If age is a barrier to responsibility, it is also a barrier to continuing to drive. If the old girl cannot accept that fact, she should hand in her driving licence.

  5. #25
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    belucky22, the original post states' "I was parked opposite a shop........and as I came out I saw an elderly lady had driven into the back of my car". Is it difficult to understand that fault in this incident is patently obvious without being there?
    "Aggressive" also implies being forceful and not necessarily involving threat or physical action (The Oxford dictionary).
    Without taking on board costs for which she is not responsible, Siani has no alternative but to press for full reimbursement. In my previous post (#24) I think it is clear where responsibility for one's actions lay. The woman's age, frailty, etc., are totally irrelevant - she was driving, she committed an error entirely and 100% of her own making. Why should she not make reparation entirely at her own cost?
    What we do not know is this. Does this woman's frailty and age affect her driving ability, and is this an isolated instance or does she frequently involve herself in such scrapes? Driving into the back of a stationary vehicle does not bode well for her fitness to drive.

  6. #26
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    As I said - always the last word.

  7. #27
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    I am now a fragile old man and am going to book myself in for flogging as I cannot bear to think of such a nice old lady being chastised verbally by all the people of bad repute on here who have probably been taken in under similar circumstances by a dear fragile old bat. I remember a woman knocking my front wall down some years ago and when I challenged her, after watching her do it, she said "It wasn't me!" Her car was severely damaged as well. I may have been wrong of course and a sudden gust of wind blew the wall down.

    My last words too........ Goodbye everyone.
    Last edited by Trainman; 01-04-14 at 11:13.

  8. #28
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    I'll join you, Trainman - on this thread, anyhow.

  9. #29
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    Well, we rang her again last night and no answer! We are going to try again tonight but not holding out much hope of her picking up the phone.

    If we can't contact her tonight I am still not sure which path I want to go down!

    I know it's not a massive amount to pay out of my own pocket but her attitude has made me feel like I need to pursue this. Her attitude towards the damage done to my car annoyed me "Oh that will t-cut out you dont want to take it to a garage" (last time I checked t-cut didnt fill in dents) and that if my car hadn't been where it was and a small child had been stood on the path (I was parked up on the curb), this could have been a very different story! She needs to learn she has a rear view mirror and that "I was in a rush - you weren't parked there when I went into the shop" isn't a valid excuse.

    But on the other hand, I need to get rid of this car. It's been vandalised 3 times so I've forked out nearly a grand already for multiple resprays and to top it off someone opened their car door into me this weekend!

    So I'm kind of stuck between wanting to make a point and wanted to get it sorted so I can part ex. I was leaning towards the latter after a visit to the BMW garage on the weekend :-)

    Thanks for all your replies and apologies if I've created a bit of a debate amongst yourselves!

  10. #30
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    No problem Siani. In the end it has to be up to you - our opinions are exactly that - opinions.

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